wrigley field is MILF paradise
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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