i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
