spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize