Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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