I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
