Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
