I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize