cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just blew my weed a kiss
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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