I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
