im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
