I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
