is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
