piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
be right there i have to get my cape
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
