I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
