so explain again why im purple
no
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
