btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
