So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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