I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize