normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
third nipple confirmed
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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