Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize