Porn is love you can see.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
