I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
