Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry finklestein hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(312): View more from Illinois

The maid of honor just puked.

Fav 5 2589 1710
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!

(317): View more from Indiana

Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?

(630): View more from Illinois

Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos

Fav 20 2924 1133
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.

(720): View more from Colorado

Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.

(303): View more from Colorado

But what if I pay for the gas?

Fav 53 1517 7434
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"

Fav 52 9828 1245
share tweet
(702): View more from Nevada

jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.

Fav 43 8299 1400
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever

Fav 11 5337 1419
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(347): View more from New York

his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.

Fav 9 3657 1162
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(586): View more from Michigan

Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.

Fav 3 964 513
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(319): View more from Iowa

Did you clean my apartment?

(361): View more from Texas

I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry

(319): View more from Iowa

Please stay more often

Fav 0 98 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT