you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize