4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
