i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize