wake up i wanna do it froggy style
they need to just BURY HIM!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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