I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
