The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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