Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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