i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
honey bunches of taint.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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