This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
