he told me I talked like a deaf person
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize