I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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