Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
