i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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