I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
