Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
