We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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