At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
