I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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