idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
