Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
