im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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