I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
