I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I am full of burrito and curiosity
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
