i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
