I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
