I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
