Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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