You just made me feel so damn special
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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