just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
