Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
