I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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