How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
