Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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