i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
