its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize