I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
