My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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