i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize