Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
