no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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