I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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