I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
How's work?
Spinning.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
